sadness is covering my heart.......
mist of guilty is full in my spirit.....
i wish i could pierce through it.....

its more complex than i knew
i shouldn't ask in the first time
i'm ashamed of what i have done
i'm regretting of what am i thinking
i shouldn't do that in the first place

doing this?
doing that?
thinking that?
thinking this?
what should i think of?
i've been thinking too much
i've been suffering too much
the sufferings make me think more than usual
its my fault
i shouldn't say that to you
i should not
how could i repay you?
how should i do to make you forgive me?
is this the way we should be?
is this the way our friendship ends?
i don want the second time to come for me
it makes me more sad
i have been into this kind of condition once before
i don want to have this second time
please
i don want it
take it away from me
anyone..... pls....

its sad
to loss a friend with great friendship.....
it makes me sad,
when she doesn't wanna bother you although u r infront of her .....
this kind of situation....
what should i do?
am i wrong at the first place?
or is it her problem?
why shouldn't there be a super advicer to tell me
what should i do next?
there will be no problem for me

i've been thinking of solutions for this case
but...
neither those work nor what am i thinking
i think i'm losing the grip
i think i'm losing everything i've own before
i think i'm losing every single bit of this friendship
i don wanna lose anything
its my life
my life is full of friends
you are one of the biggest piece of this friendship
i don wanna loss you
no one could every have your place
i wish you could forgive me

i don wanna loss a friend again
i've lost one before,
and i don wanna lost another
please
i beg you

for some reason,
my eyes are filling with tears
this isn't me
but the way you show me
the way i'm thinking of repaying you,
makes me shed tears from my eyes
i wish u could just see this blog and know what am i feeling

please
i really beg you
may god bless me





-octopus-