sadness is covering my heart.......
mist of guilty is full in my spirit.....
i wish i could pierce through it.....

its more complex than i knew
i shouldn't ask in the first time
i'm ashamed of what i have done
i'm regretting of what am i thinking
i shouldn't do that in the first place

doing this?
doing that?
thinking that?
thinking this?
what should i think of?
i've been thinking too much
i've been suffering too much
the sufferings make me think more than usual
its my fault
i shouldn't say that to you
i should not
how could i repay you?
how should i do to make you forgive me?
is this the way we should be?
is this the way our friendship ends?
i don want the second time to come for me
it makes me more sad
i have been into this kind of condition once before
i don want to have this second time
please
i don want it
take it away from me
anyone..... pls....

its sad
to loss a friend with great friendship.....
it makes me sad,
when she doesn't wanna bother you although u r infront of her .....
this kind of situation....
what should i do?
am i wrong at the first place?
or is it her problem?
why shouldn't there be a super advicer to tell me
what should i do next?
there will be no problem for me

i've been thinking of solutions for this case
but...
neither those work nor what am i thinking
i think i'm losing the grip
i think i'm losing everything i've own before
i think i'm losing every single bit of this friendship
i don wanna lose anything
its my life
my life is full of friends
you are one of the biggest piece of this friendship
i don wanna loss you
no one could every have your place
i wish you could forgive me

i don wanna loss a friend again
i've lost one before,
and i don wanna lost another
please
i beg you

for some reason,
my eyes are filling with tears
this isn't me
but the way you show me
the way i'm thinking of repaying you,
makes me shed tears from my eyes
i wish u could just see this blog and know what am i feeling

please
i really beg you
may god bless me





-octopus-

i dunno why
maybe i said something wrong
i hope that i'm not
but unfortunately i've done and said something wrong
u are escaping me
u are avoiding me
how can i resist it?

did i say those three words are u are now avoiding me?
i hope tat to you it isn't something big
well
its just my feelings,
and i'm regretting now
i shudn't ask that
i shudn't do that
why must i do that?
why must i say that?
i've just lost a precious thing

in school u don even say hi to me
in school u are avoiding my eyes
in school u are avoiding every step i make
how do u think i could resist it?
it isn't my style
i don usually fight with girls
but for you....
special occasion
i didn't fight with you
but just those three words........ ( u using me? )
i hate that time and what i have done
could u forgive me?
i couldn't just say out in school and in front of so many ppl....
but if u do,
look at my blog,
see what am i typing now
see what am i feeling now




i miss you a lot
i miss your talking
i miss your smiling
i miss your laughing
i miss your running
i miss your everything

pls,
forgive me
i beg for it






-octopus-

i hate you dad
i reali hate you
you thought u could adjust my time
my time in school
damn you dad
how can and could u do that?
its impossible for u
i'm much busier than you thought,
don you think that you're the most cleverest guy in the world

unfortunately u are the most stupid and stubborn in the world
u thought u could do anything you like
but what the hell?
u don even know what i am doing in school
i reali don hav the time to do what you ask for,
so how can i do?
u say i'm lazying in school,
but i'm reali busy in school!
how can u say that to m?
you know you are a stupid idiot man i've never seen?

for some reason,
just shut up and let me do the job
i hate you a lot

reali,
i hate you a lot dad
i hate you a lot

ITS SUNDAY!
woooo~
finally can sleep late again!
but.....
i've been force to wake up at ten... T.T

i've wasting my whole morning at outside~
yeah~
^^
its nice
exam over~

my results.....
some are good,
some are bad~~
results aim
chinese : 55 70
malay : 78 70
english : 77 80
maths : 98 90
history : 86 80
geography : 60 70
biology : 89 85
physics : 86 70
chemistry : 71 80

red = OMG
green = ^^

well
i've got to get ready for the next exam
i wanna get 80 for average!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


-octopus-

today is a very busy day for me
i've done a lot of things
i've quarrel with a friend of mine
i've been thinking of something
its been messing my mind for a lot of time

i wish that there's someone which can give me advice
i don wanna be unadviced
it just seems like doing something without knowing
i wanna do something which i intend to do
i wish i could plan things before doing it
but it seems to me that,
planning things before doing keeps delaying and failing.....
what should i do?

gambateh to me




-octopus-

well
i dunno what are you thinking
what are you doing
what are you trying to do

you seem to be....
using me?
am i too sensitive?
do i think too much?
have i been too much and this makes me feel bad?
what must i suppose to do?
i dunno what to do ....

i relai dunno what to do,
nowadays stress i much more than usual
prefect we are changing groups,
as treasurer i need to recount things,
as computer society game master i need to think of more....
what should i do?
and i'm still helping you doing your work....
is this what am i suppose to do?

I DUNNO WHAT TO DO NEXT!
and my leg is bleeding ==





god bless me
pls




-octopus-

20-May-2009

well
today is the most BAWRIING day ever ==
nothing happen today

but actually i saw two "alubas"~ XD
well,
i'm a prefect,
and its my duty to stop them....
UNFORTUNATELY,
i din care~ ^^
well,
i don wanna get hurt,
so what's the point stopping them?

well,
i'm quite "normal" today....
din get angry~
din get frustrated~
din get sad~
haha~
good to me.....
stop letting my hairs get white~
^^

well,
my results are all out,
it seems that i can't get out from the "77~79 average marks".....
i'm so doomed.....
T.T
boohoo~~

well,
i've typing prefect things for HOURS
it is so TIRING
i wanna get REST

my com is LAGGING like HELL
i want my com to be FAST
haiz
stupid com =.=
wish i have a laptop~
that would be FANTASTIC

well,
todays been chatting wif her for quite a time~
it's er.... not bad? XD
well no one knows,
and she doesn't knows~
so why must i ruin it?
its fun~ ^^

although two people know adi la,
but,
make it as zero~
XD





-octopus-

- a day been wasted

well
today i've wasting my time a lot ==

i didn't do anything today~ XD
well,
whatever....

it seems so calm today~~
nothing much,
so its consider as.....

BORING




-octopus-

- turn into a new leaf

well,
today is the last second week of our prefect group~

well,
hui yan and soon wei cried~
well,
it seems to have changed and touched my mind
i suddenly feel that i don wanna leave this group
it makes me feel ALONE
i don wanna feel alone
it reali makes me scared.....

suddenly,
i feel that,
everyone in the group reali takes care of each other....
mostly hui yan,
she tries to understand me,
she wants to breaks through the mist of confusion inside me....
but,
i've failed her....
i just think that its so simple,
why shud you bother me like that.....
well,
after thinking now,
i felt dreadfully ashamed of what i have done
i wanna turn into a new leaf
i wanna make everyone know who the hell i am
i don wanna be the blacklisted guy in prefectorial board

well,
our groups members reali care each other~
they are kind,
friendly,
good-hearted people which i am admiring now
i shud be more kinder and open minded
now i have regret what i have done before
for now,
i could be more better....
why am i so stubborn?
why that time i'm so.....
childish?

it reali makes me feel ashamed.....
sad....
dreadful....
regretful...
i wish time could just come back,
for the time we ,
the third group,
to be together once more.....
and i wish that,
i could be more better than last time,
thinking that i'm the only king,
everyone needs to suite me....
now,
i wish that i haven't been like this
i wish that i'm will not be like this in the future
i meant to change the way i am now
well
i am changing
i am piercing through the "skin of badness"
i will be good
i will be more mature
i will be better
i will be more responsible
i will be more sensible

God bless me in the future
May God guide me through all these

finally,
I MEANT TO BE A NEW LEAF
I DON WANNA BE A ROTTEN LEAF


-octopus-

- disappointments are out again!

today~
two papers out~
yahoo......
sien ==

actually,
the papers reali suck me out
i don understand
for the hardwork for me,
why should i still get this kind of marks?
maybe i'm too highly confident?
or just too high target?
i don understand.....

haiz....
i'm so sad....
haiz....
sad sad sad.....
next week i'm going to write out my marks.....
~~~~~
drifting away~~
woooo~

well,
now i know how to manage a girl ==
act like always
don strangely act like something else
HAHAHAHA
i'm gonna get you~!~!
MUAHAHAHAHA

==
cold





-octopus-

- results and disappointment are out

today is the day.....
for the results.....
i'm exciting....
i'm happy.....
the best of all.....
I'M GOD DAMNLY DISAPPOINTED!

well,
first of all malays out,
wow....
the results are not in my expectations.... ^^
luv ya BM~ ( for a moment, don get tooo happy == )
next is chinese.....
only composition paper.....
suck.... stupid chinese....
well next is english~
superior damn it.....
why i get this kind of results one~~ haiz....

but maths i am so happy~
^^
i thought....
but fortunately....
hehehehehehehehe~~~ ^^

well,
the results are very disappointing...
next time i'm gonna CHIONG LIKE I'M GOING TO HEAVEN
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~


-octopus-

- another day

wow
another day has just gone
a blink of an eye
a tick from a clock ( althought it a lot of ticks )
the world
it seems....
too fast
well tomorrow is just an exciting day
results day
wow
fantastic
see how many A's i could score.....
feel quite "gan jiong"

well,
exams over,
i can't see her anymore.....
shud i go to her class?
or just go to find her after school?
it quite confuse me,
dunno what to do the next moment
i don have any advicers to advice me,
well....
it seems to be my own
if i wanna go on this extraordinary relationship,
what must i do?
just hope that anyone,
anything,
anytime,
any place,
any one could tell me what to do....

hope we will get well together soon
^^





-octopus-

- finally

wow
exams over
two weeks over torture
FINALLY ITS OVER!

so whats the reward?
stay in house doing nothing at all ==
it seems funny,
to become DAMN busy....
after that?
nothing to do~
melepek here melepek there.....
also very boring~

well,
i think my results are totally a disaster.....
i'm afraid of some subjjects,
like geography~ chinese~ bm~ omg hate those things man

well,
sitting here blogging its the first thing i do in home
its nothing actually,
typing out my feelings~
FANTASTIC THING to do~ ^^

well,
today just wanna go find her after exam,
but she just disappear in thin air ==
can't even find her
i have to escape marching from prefectorial board AND find her
so damn "easy"~ yucks
but its fun anyway~ ^^

well,
i've got to go dentist later
see if i can take out my braces
its been two years ++
haha~
wish me luck~


today i just teach her something
makes me so happy~
XD....... LOL
LAUGH OUT REALI LOUD TO ME
thx
appreciate it
~~~~~
^^






-octopus-

- you sucks man

excuse me
am i your friend?

and does friends don bother each other?
do you know,
that i sms to you,
i have to wait about 5 hours to receive back..... ==
what if your mother dies and i'm sending to you,
what will you ract?
let your mother die and then five hours later only realise?
you fuck up man ==

and then
got things only come and find me?
when i just said:"er.... dunno oo...."
you seem like wanna hug my hand,
wanna make me say "yes i can"
after the answer is "no"
wow
you seem to be a gust of wind
suddenly come and go
you really really sucks man
i don understand
why would i have this kind of friend?
god damn you man
its better than be friend to a dog than you ==




*ps :the character in this article is not same as the character below*



i hope that you will see this and find out its you
i will be very appreciate
you BITCH

- do you know?

do you know that tortoise use their tongues to cut off foods?
do you know that octopus use smoke to escape from their enemies?
do you know that a page from your book consist of germs more than the population of our earth?
do you know that someone in our world uses hair to pull a truck?
do you know that someone uses their legs to kick bricks and make that crack?

do you know that i'm waiting for you to break up?

actually i don't really know who the heck you like now.....
besides, i don reali noe do you like someone else.....
but the fact is,
i quite like you XD
omg,
the feeling is back
i hate this stupid feeling
it makes me sick and crazy for love.... T.T haiz.....

but anyway,
i don care this kind of things first.....
do you know?
i want you to be mine? (eww..... disgusting~)

may god bless me this time.
do i know that could i make it?

i reali don know......

- does our frenship stay?

wow
i'm awake at such late nights man
its fantastic
long time don have this kind of feeling adi
XD

last year i was awake about half a year every nite man
caz playing maple XD
now maple tio hack....
so?
why am i awake?
caz after reading history boring man....
hehe~
bad me,
if parents find out.....
haha~
god can't save me also....

the exams are totally NUTS
they sucks man....
they drive me TOTALLY ABSOLUTELY 100% CRAZY


i hate exams
they make my family relationship break....
they make me feel sick.....
they make me sleep late at nite.....
they make me being sting by mosquitioes....
they make me headache......
haiz....
what's the point?

i WANT to give up my exams
i WANT to just go play and don wanna study
i WANT to blog every single day
i WANT to stay with my friends every day at school
i WANT to play with my best friends
i WANT the exams to go AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.........

stupid keyboard
makes me feel so PEK CHEK

i wonder if our friendship is going on.....
i wonder if you still willing to be my best fren
i wonder if you remember me....
i don know what you are thinking
i dunno what you are feeling
but do you really notice my feelings?
whatever i do,
whatever i make,
whatever i help,
you seem to be er...... UNNOTICED?
whats the point?
BECAUSE I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND
AND BEST FRIENDS DOESN'T PUT YOU ASIDE

to me,
FRENS COME FIRST
i don care who you are,
the headmaster,
the disicipline department,
my parents,
the police......
YOU ARE STILL NUMBER 1 TO ME

well,
express my feelings quite nice~ ^^
its three thirty midnight,
and i hav to get up at 5 o'clock......
so,
nite~ ^^




















-octopus-